“In the beginning is you, in the middle is you, and in the end is you”
A day of reminiscing will have you looking back on all the phases of your life. The person you were in each of those phases varied from day to day, month to month, and changed substantially over the years. But each one of those moments held a piece of you. An essence that needed to exist to teach you how to laugh, how to let go, how to be strong, how to persevere, and how to thrive in the actual moment you are now living….. even if it feels like drowning. Even when it feels like you’ve let go of more than less of who you are; even when you stand in the mirror trying to recognize that warrior staring back at you.
I’ve experienced my fair share of changes. I’ve rolled through the ups and the downs, coasting at the “in between” because I wasn’t sure I could handle either. I’ve had love, and lost it. I’ve held on to things that felt like love but were really anything but that. I’ve been carefree and spontaneous but also so overwhelmed that I can’t control everything. I’ve learned from each of these phases. Some things I held onto, others I let go and other things I’ve let go only to realize it was an essential piece of who I am.
So how do we regain those pieces? How do we find the confidence of that 9 yr old ready to experience the world? How do we find that optimism of the 16 yr old that just knew it was easy to thrive at life? How do we lose the fear gained after our first heartbreak? How do we let go of the shame from that one unfortunate decision or event? How do we move forward with only the pieces of ourselves that we choose and not simply the pieces that have latched on?
First lets start by understanding that all of those phases, experiences, and emotions are YOU. That confidence you feel you have lost is simply in remission. That drive you once had is simply in neutral waiting for the next destination. That love you once shared is still there, waiting to overflow into the next person worthy to experience it. Our shadows shed light on the pieces of us that make us thrive. The pieces of us that make us feel alive. And you are not any one single moment or decision.
So what worked? How did your yesterday influence your today? How did the person you were 10 yrs ago set the foundation for where you are now? And of those experiences that you felt negatively affected your life, what good came from it? What did you learn about yourself?
Learn to spin your story and bring back the pieces you miss to the surface.